Well here we are at the final page of the 4th Tale and I have only worse news to share. My situation has gotten a lot shittier(STILL) and I’m just going to more or less copy/paste the blog I wrote about it elsewhere… If you’re a real fan of mine and this comic I recommend reading it all the way through and if at all possible contribute a donation at the link from the bottom. I don’t like having to ask for this, but there’s no other way. If not, that’s ok too. But the sooner every bit of drama is out of my life the sooner I can work on the comic again which is all I really even want. I will still try and get the to be continued page and Kusaru-hime’s scroll entry done sometime next week for you guys though.
“Guys, I can’t do much anymore. Not right now.
I have to slow down comms and close down accepting orders even though everything is so bad. Every day something worse keeps happening in succession and there has been no chance for my head to heal. I can’t keep rushing to try to get through this huge backlog, I feel like I’m on the precipice of breaking.I need to do like, a comm a day and when I’m caught up have a limited number of slots. I need to make money so bad right now though but I just can’t do fucking anything. I am going to keep experimenting with cheap adoptables because character design relaxes me but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this mentally weak.
Things kept getting worse from my last two journals and I have had a permanent stress headache that gets worse every day. I keep getting mental whiplash and this pain is almost indescribable. Every time my mom yells and screams I get so mad at her that I never want to talk to her again and then the next morning she breaks down and cries and I feel bad for her because I love her, I can’t mentally handle this back and forth of emotions. Going back from unthathomable hate to instant sympathy like a game of fucking ping-pong has hurt my head more than I can tell you.
And now today my sister’s druggy alcoholic piece of shit dad who got out of the halfway house TWO WEEKS ago was up to shit. You see he was supposed to not come back to our place but he basically laid in bed for three months at the halfway house and didn’t do any of their programs which we sent him there for, he didn’t work with any of the specialists about finding a job and he didn’t talk with them about finding an appartment… so he basically got dumped back straight here and every day he’s been sneaking off to the Casino to go gamble and shit and much worse today I followed him doing some shifty shit in the laundry room and found his big stash of weed, it smelled horrible.
Now things will get worse cause he and my mom will be fighting constantly about this.
I didn’t tell you guys yet but yesterday was the worst fighting yet and my mom went absolutely ballistic, causing me and Angela to go talk to her aunt’s landlord about renting out a place to us. He pretty much ok’d us over the phone since he’s on good terms with Angela’s aunt. We’re going to need first month’s rent along with a $700 deposit… meaning we need $1400 and whatever expenses we’re going to need to move. It’s only like 5-10 minutes away from my old place by car, but still.
I’m going to put it bluntly that my mentality is damaged from everything that’s going on and I won’t be able to work properly until I’m out of here for good. I can only handle so much, and that point was like… a week ago. And I still tried to struggle and seem like everything was ok, but it’s not and as much as I’d like to keep my cool bravado and never ask anyone for help. I will be able to get most of the money on my own by struggling, but… if any of you guys out there truly enjoy my art or enjoy me as a person, friend, role model or whatever then for the first time in my life I’d like to ask for help.
Ideally I’d ask you guys if you could all chip in to donating the $700 so I don’t have to force myself to work *as* hard while I recover this month, but really… I’ll take anything you guys can spare. I tried to get some sort of donation tracker so we can see how close I am to the $700 but my head hurts to much to set anything up. Feel free to ask me how donations are coming along though… but even then $700 is the bare minimum I need. Anything more would be for stuff like furniture, movers, getting internet set up as soon as possible so I can get back to work and so on and so forth.
You can donate here, http://www.paypal.me/ClaytonSummers
It hurts me a lot that I have to ask for this, but I do, and I’ll never forget any kindness that comes from this little event.”